My long-lost cousin Steph Mags pointed out to me last weekend that I haven't written very much on this blog... she is so right, and so here I am writing. I started this past back in May, but have only now attempted to finish it. I hope to have much more time to write now that I have my new iMac. :)
I realize that I have not been very positive in this blog so far. Matthew pointed out to me that I have a lot of complaints, but that I hadn't mentioned any of the amazing aspects of this life overseas. I am setting out to remedy that with this post.
I think it is easier to focus on the negative sometimes, and it really takes strength of character to pull oneself out of negativity and focus on the positives that are always around us.
One of the things that is amazing about life overseas is the people I have met. I have made such amazing friends everywhere I have been. Usually, they are work colleagues, or spouses of Matt's colleagues. This is an obvious place to start - common ground... However, there are also those friends that I have met who are niether of these things. The bonds that I have made with these women are amazing, and continue to this day...
The experiences overseas wrap together with the friends to create unforgettable moments. I will never forget the drive to find an ancient ruin from the time of Genghis Khan with Jackie, for example. I was gripping the "holy shit" handle in the front of the UN vehicle so hard that my knuckles were turning white. I remember her commenting that I didn't seem to be enjoying the journey. What an understatement! The road to nowhere was winding out of control down the side of a mountain. Our four wheel drive Nissan Patrol did not seem to be preventing us from sliding towards the edge of the muddy path that was supposed to be a road. I was petrified and she and Matt thought it was the funniest thing in the world. To this day, we all remember that day with fondness.
Silvia and I formed an immediate bond of necessity. As the only two members of teaching staff at the Luanda International School in Angola who were not living on the school campus, we had to face a 45 minute commute every morning. I had the car, but the thought of driving on my own through the shantytowns and slums, facing traffic jams and security risks on all sides scared me to death. I was very pleased to offer her a ride every day, knowing that this would give me companionship above all else. We quickly grew to enjoy each others company, even the silence at the end of the day when we had run out of energy to talk about school. We reconnected in Edinburgh not long ago, and they she and her husband have managed to come and visit us at our home here in Canada. These are the friendships that will always last.
Jen and her girls were my lifeline in Geneva. Without them living next door, I honestly do not believe that I would have been able to make it through those first few years of Emily's life as a stay-at-home mom. I was a fish out of water, and Jen had a way of calming my nervous spirit and gently showing me different ways to do the things that I was so unsure of. Being a mother changed me forever, but it could have changed me for the worse if God had not brought her into my life. I remember the day we went to look at the house in Luins, just outside of Nyon in Switzerland. It was a small village with several vineyards, incredibly picturesque, tucked in among the rows and rows of grapes. As we walked around to the garden behind the house, I saw her getting out of her car. I whispered to Matthew, "she has a baby!". This was great news for me. Even better, though, was the look of astonishment as I watched her pull out not one but two little babes. When she smiled and said hello in perfect American English, I think I nearly died of happiness. I turned and said, "This will do just fine!". I must have seemed like a bit of a freak at the time, now that I think of it. Good thing she didn't mind though. Those days will be with me forever.
There were others who found their way into my heart... Avronne was, in the words of Anne of Green Gables, my bosom friend. I went to her with my deepest sorrows and joys and we supported each other in ways that no one else ever could have. I thank God for bringing her into my world.
Alison was my sanity at school. The two of us quickly joined forces when we realized that we were from the same southern-Ontario-hardworking-Canadian-teacher gene pool. Many fun weekends were had at the chalet near Mont Blanc, and I look forward to having our paths cross again in the future.
There are groups of women in many these places that have really touched my soul... Kyrgyzstan saw Monica, Jacky and the gang surrounding me with support and love, even when they were sent home as "non-essential personnel" and I was left to wonder what the UN would have me do while Matt was in Pakistan after September 11th. Geneva brought together an amazing group of expat women, all new mothers, all unsure of ourselves and finding our footing in a strange land. It was an amazing network of people, and we met regularly to support one another. Colombia evolved over time to produce perhaps the strongest, most amazing group of friends that I have formed overseas. It will be hard to have a glass of wine on my own ever again, and I will never forget you. Not ever.
Not to be forgotten are the die-hard friends and family who remain at home and deal with our coming and going on a regular basis. These amazing people are the foundation of our lives, and they ground us to our home. I was a bit worried about coming home, and about how I would fit back into the world that they have here, but it has been anything but unnatural. They are always there, always loving and always understanding. Amazing to think about it, actually... I have missed so many important events in the lives of these friends and family members and yet they welcome me with open arms. They have shown me what it means to have unconditional love, and this is something that I carry with me no matter where I go or what I do.
As summer days turn to fall, and we settle into a routine of "normalcy" here at our home in Canada, I am struck by the sense of loss I feel at not having the same sort of community that I am able to find overseas. Sure, there are great people here... there are several women who I have known for years already, and with whom I enjoy talking and having a coffee. The bond is different somehow, though. There isn't a sense of urgency at getting to know each other... they have their life here, and I am just something new to add to the equation. It isn't the same when everyone is from somewhere else and we all seek companionship, and someone to share a glass of wine with. So much so, that we would drive halfway across town to do so! It takes half an hour to get around this town's twists and turns in order to reach the other side, and I don't know one person who would actually get in their car and do the drive.
It is mid October, and we are being forced to think about next year already... and as we look at the lists of posts and consider the options in front of us, I can't help but think about the women that I will meet, and the friends that I will make in the years to come. Now all that is left for me to do is to focus on the lives that have been forever linked to mine, and remind these friends how much they mean to me.
